i’m laying on a healing table. i am blindfolded. we are in that space between deep night and dawn. i have at that time relaxed into seven years of celibacy. the three women in the room are my clearness group, whom i have kept aware of my exploration. my virginity has gone deep. my penis has been flaccid for some time, i’ve released orgasm and during which i’ve drank none of myself. they have decided that i’m now ready for the yoni test…to see whether i respond to women without touching myself. i am allowed to smell - no seeing, tasting, or touching. if my penis fills up with blood and tension, i am granted the privilege of fucking. i’ve been offered this before and the years have passed. each time i remained flaccid at the scent of cunts; and i was ‘granted’ another year of masturbation celibacy, or rather, celibacy. i felt a woman step up onto the healing table and squat over me in my darkness, presenting her blossomed yoni inches from my nostrils. i drew a deep mossy breath…that is when I awakened…
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