Masturbating Together
Pleasure among men.
Greenwood Lake, Seattle — January 2004
I’ve been going through a phase of being more curious about men. It coincides this time with a shortage of available contact with womankind, which can push the issue of men or at least leave me in a space where I’m yearning enough to go there. And I’ve had this persistent fantasy of wanting to jack off a guy and watch him cum, so I started posting Craigslist ads and began getting responses.
Someone named Rob responded and we corresponded for a few weeks, looking for a time we could meet, sharing a few things, I sent him a few of my stories and articles. He turned out to be pretty young, about 21, and had only had sex once—masturbating with another guy, that was it. I asked him a few questions, still via email, including asking whether he liked to drink his semen. He gave the answer that most guys give: it’s a hot thought till he cums, then suddenly it’s the least appealing thing in the world.
I have spent a lot of time going through that… but was determined to get past it… and I have, with a lot of help mainly from some women in my life over the years…and what we agreed would be the first date was that he would watch me masturbate. In a moment of rather consumed erotic desire, I wrote, if that’s what you want, here’s what I can do for you. You can watch me fuck my ass and drink my cum.
He replied and agreed and that was our arrangement.
He got over to my place, I think it was a Sunday night. Cute young guy, nerdy glasses, he sat on my couch and I sat in my club chair which has the two back legs removed, so it tilted back. I asked him a lot of questions. He was pretty shy. I was not feeling the least bit horny, and so we sat there talking.
Anyway, finally, he said, so, well, are we going to do something?
And I said, well, okay…I need to smoke some weed; a little was all it took and suddenly the idea of stripping and masturbating in front of him was the most natural thing in the world. That, basically, is what I did. He sat there dressed, and I undressed and as we had envisioned, sat back and looked at him and just showed him.
I kept remembering that this was just his second erotic experience ever, this young gay man…
When I felt the first desire to orgasm and drink it, I mentioned it — very trippy to talk openly, in person, knowing it might happen. I asked him if he wanted to do this, conveying the idea now in person, not in an email, and he admitted his desire to do the same thing, and said he might try, if I helped him.
Finally, finally, he asked if he could undress, and I said sure, of course. So here is me, very, very worked up, and him too, and he undressed and began masturbating.
I watched and felt, and talked to him, kind of sitting on the floor at his feet. I am feeling very dreamy and it is rather dreamy. Very nice to have a man masturbating openly that close to me.
I talked to him and as he got hornier I asked him about wanting to drink his semen, how do you feel about that now, and he said he wanted to, so what I said was okay, you’re going to ejaculate into my palm and we’ll take it from there.
He masturbated for a while longer, laying back in my chair.
Then as I looked at his face, he started to let go and then orgasmed, giving it to himself so sweetly. I cupped my hand at the tip of his penis and I could feel the sudden ultra-warm thick spurts of his semen spill into my hand. As he came, I encouraged him to open his voice and release and feel himself ejaculating and said the kinds of things to him that I would love to hear when I’m cumming.
I cannot tell you how good it felt, how surprising and so fucking hot as the thick spurts pooled in my palm as he watched…. my god… I caught it all preciously, carefully. I could have easily just reached my mouth around his cock and taken it in but I didn’t feel ready, and we agreed this was going to be something else, and there I was with a cupped palm full of his cum, looking at his face.
Everything happening in slow, suspended motion.
I held out my hand and said to him, “This is your semen. I’m going to smell your semen.” He nodded a little…
And I did. It smelled a lot like mine, fresh and like the woods. Understand how vulnerable a man is after he’s ejaculated. And there I am smelling him and now encouraging him to smell himself. So intimate, a little shocking. I held his cum to his nose and said “smell your semen,” and he did.
I asked him if he wanted to drink or taste himself and he said no — he had no interest at all — and I totally could empathize. I smelled him again. I considered masturbating with his thick cum, that feels so good you have no idea, but instead, after a while, I slowly massaged his seed into his belly and said, “Here’s your semen back,” marking him with his own scent.
After that little scene I was very horny, and he was curious what was going to happen next.
He dressed and a few minutes later he came into my room and lay on my bed; I was on the floor in front of a big mirrir and had a dildo I like, and I let him watch my face as I squatted over it and straddled it and was fucked. My cock was stiff and aching, waiting for attention.
I fucked myself for a while letting him see and feel, and then I turned around and faced the mirrir.
Having my ass fucked makes me feel full inside and the orgasm is deeper, more urgent and more satisfying… and I like the feeling of drinking my cum when my ass is fucked — there is a connection (and it feels really good to fill my mouth with cum and then suck a dildo into my mouth at the same time).
Anyway—I am sure you can imagine, I was horny and very nervous, and wanting the pleasure to last forever and wanting a mouth full of my cum all at once. l leaned against my bed and lay back and spread my legs, which were propped high against the wall on either side of the mirrir.
Still deeply fucked. Trying to take my time, to be aware of what I was doing (this was to be the first time ever that I would drink my cum in front of another man one on one, or in fact, in front of a man without a woman in the room).
I began talking to myself and saying stuff to myself into the mirrir like “I want to drink your semen” and “I love you” while he watched and then as the pleasure grew and grew and I knew it would soon be time to orgasm, I said to myself, “Show him, show him, show him…”
…and I let go, that was too much, “show him,” and I showed him! I was cumming, very openly, sweetly slipping away from any control feeling so good, my heart roaring, moaning out so much semen from a long buildup and a few days of no orgasms and having held his cum in my hand, and I watched my face melt, being seen doing so, strange and beautiful and then my palm was full of my cum, and I put it to my mouth and sucked myself in.
He is witnessing all of this in the reflection and so am I.
I held my liquid in my mouth and turned toward him and let him see my face with my full mouth. I did not quite have the nerve to open my mouth and show him…though I so dearly wanted to. Now comes that moment where I can’t believe what I’ve just done, but there is no point disbelieving, right? Because I’m sitting there on the floor with my ass fucked and my mouth full in front of a big mirrir and this person is with me and…we know what has happened…there is nothing I can change…
…however…
If I could relive it all the same except one thing, I would look right at his eyes as I opened my mouth…and then do that into the mirrir…so he can see me face me…
In real time and space, I swallowed myself right into my eyes, as he looked at my face.
I have not had a chance to ask him how he felt about that. Maybe next time we will cum together and drink ourselves together. I could see that being really easy. I would like to do that with a few guys…. to see and show…. total compassion and freedom.
