p.s., I know how much...
the cosmic reflection
I know how much women love to see men’s faces surrender to them. I know and love. I know the truth. I love how much the women I know love to look into the eyes of men as they orgasm into their cosmos.
I knew this would be my greatest joy of woman, upon all others, to be seen moaning in orgasm into her deep inner core. I delight in how she is so much larger than me. She contains me and all my emotions. Sees me face snarl and wimper and cry out. I connect my feelings with my face and show her.
It seemed a…growth step…to invite such women to witness me facing myself. To say this is what I need. I learned to mirror masturbate honestly by being guided and held steady by women. Women who held my mirror wet or dry. Women who fucked in the same room with me to help me relax and do myself.
Who understand that…I am seeking an opportunity to mature. To emote to my own awareness…I think in that moment woman becomes mommy. In that one gesture all women hold space as mother. She who feels and understands the feeling. I became the woman in me who sees her man’s face as he lets go to her.
I became the man who sees himself as woman. When I’m standing in front of the mirror my one need is to thank myself and then I am fargone, eyes darting from eyes to face. I am here to take care of you emotionally.
My mcel is to respect all women as mother. When I choose to mature, I choose to differentiate my self awareness from mommy. I take presence in my own emotional body. Her presence is implied in every woman. As Eden said, You dont fuck your mommy. You don’t lick your mommy. But your mommy knows you masturbate.
Mommy, thank you for keeping all of my secrets so gently. I love who I’ve become through you. Mommy, I love who I’ve become through you. I love who I’ve become through you. I love how I’ve loved women through you. I’m a mirror celibate self semen drinker. Thank you for that gift, mommy.
Thank you for the gift of my semen, mommy. Mother, thank you for the gift of my own semen. Thank you for the gift of my semen. This is how my body sounds when I’ve chosen to make semen. Thank my mommy for helping you thirst for milk. I am free.
If I can do this, I can live my life. If I can do this, I can live my life. If I can do this, I can live my life. If I can do this, I can live my life. I’m gonna lay down under the covers
— from thank you mommy imbolc - 2025
Thank You Mommy - Imbolc
This occurred during my writing of the original ‘bare essence’ during the season of Imbolc with the Sun crossing the midpoint of Aquarius. Venus was conjunct Neptune and the lunar node in Pisces. It is a recording of a spontaneous altered-state healing / channeling that I had the presence of mind, at least, to…