Story for Anna
Montauk, approximately 2011.
I met Anna around 2009 when she was visiting from Califronia. She came to my apartment in Kingston and cooked me dinner naked in celebration of my completing the Planet Waves annual edition a week or so earlier. She had a pound of some outragous cush in tow. We spent a delightful week swimming together like the dolphins we are. This was a letter to her a couple of years later, every little nuance spoken into her mind and feelings. This is from Book of Blue, first edition.
Deep Winter, Journey’s Inn, Montauk…
Dear Anna —
I smoked a little cush yesterday before going down to the spa. I knew it would lower my inhibitions. I went down, checked in, and then went to the locker and showers.
The showers were being re-grouted so they said, go to the changing area at the pool. It’s a coed area but there are segregated changing areas just for the pool. As I went into the men’s room (the door said “boys changing area”) an older guy was walking out. He commented on the perfect timing of my arrival and he walked away.
I walked in. The door didn’t lock. The room was a small changing area with cubbies, a couple of benches and a shower area for one. It was a bit large but only had one shower head.
I was alone and the whole spa was very quiet and even a bit desolate but there were a few people walking around — other off-season guests. I dropped my towel and pulled the curtain and turned on the water. I could feel how naked I was. Somehow this felt more public than the locker area back in the spa, even though there were many more people there. I was horny and decided to masturbate until I got hard.
I didn’t want to orgasm just yet; I wanted to play with being hot in that need to cum way and playing with the edge. So I decided I would masturbate wherever I could, till I got hard. Then I would stop and go somewhere else or do something else.
I was alone in this space so I started talking about that out loud. I admitted that I wanted to orgasm but that I would just get very hard and horny and wait. I pulled open the curtain a little and looked at the empty changing area. I imagined other men or boys there watching me masturbate, or at least noticing that I was whether they were interested or not. I could have cum but I didn’t. I stepped out of the shower with my cock hard in front of me and experimented standing in a place where I could be seen like that erect and long if someone, as in another man, walked in. Nobody did. But it felt good…
I wrapped a towel around, me, obviously hard, and walked past the lifeguard back to the spa area. My next stop was the Roman Bath, a big jacuzzi on the guys’ side. It was located at the end of a long corridor and was rarely used but the jacuzzi space is gorgeous with a huge statue of Neptune’s face in there — very powerful face with a kind of ambiguous joy and rage and passion — a little like this —
From right above his face it poured this wide think perfectly shaped clear waterfall. There were air jets blasting out right there as well and I knelt in front of them, immersed up to my chest in warm water. It felt really good. I turned around as another man was coming into the bath, and sat and faced him.
He was about 15 feet away, pretty far, and in his own world. My cock was still hard. I turned around toward the wall again and felt the pleasure of the jets on my cock and balls again.
Again I experimented with speaking to myself, in the rush of the waterfall, hot-talking myself about my hard cock and needing to masturbate but choosing to gather semen and save it for a deep release. I thought of my dildo up in my room. I felt the desire to penetrate myself and squeeze my bulb and stir up my deep semen, which collects in a little bulb inside me. I love talking to myself when I get hot and full, I can melt my inhibitions and talk about what I really want and I described that and I knew I could if I wanted get that toy and play with penetration and use the pleasure to fill up.
While I was doing this I had some thoughts, including how easy it would be to bring my cum spattered mirror into this room and play with it when alone, or look at it when not alone, and nobody would have a clue. I said that out loud, into the roar of the water.
Eventually I walked out of the tub, semi hard. The other guy had his eyes closed but I wondered if he could feel my vibes. I wrapped the towel around myself. The Roman Bath was on a little corridor to the right, at the end of that long main corridor. It felt really isolated. There was also a lounge room there that hardly anyone knew about or even noticed but which had three of those spa lounge chairs.
I opened the door and a younger guy was laying there wrapped in a towel, dozing off in the dark space. Instinctively I closed the door to leave him alone, but then as soon as I did, I thought he might not have minded if I came in. I teased myself with that possibility — really considering it but still feeling apprehensive enough not to do it. But I stood there for a few minutes and considered what might happen if I did — maybe I would just lay down on the chair next to him all hot and bothered…or maybe something would happen like I might masturbate or we would do it together…or maybe I would invite him to my room and suck him off.
That was all in my mind.
I was unbelievably horny but still kind of calm. I stepped out into the main corridor where there was a door right across from the little alcove for the Roman Bath and lounge room. This was a treatment room, one of the rarely used ones, chilly and dark and off to the side of nowhere. I knew there was very little chance of anyone finding it. I slipped in and closed the door and looked at myself naked and hard in the long mirror.
Then, I turned out the lights and sat down behind a kind of Chinese divider near the wall, and I breathed. My mind drifted to everything I had thought and done the past 20 minutes or so. I thought of the guy in the lounge and dared myself to get up and slip into the room and lay down, like nothing special. I felt how good it would feel to masturbate for him or with him or to masturbate him or to suck him off. This was making me want to cum hard right then now.
At the same time I was in an unlocked where someone could just walk in…teasing myself with not cumming, at least for a little while longer. Playing that kind of game makes me thirsty for my own cum. I would drink another man’s of course but I’m the one there is and I get this blazing thirst for semen and it’s gonna be mine. In the dark room on the little end table next to the massage table I could see that there was some massage oil. I put a few drops in my hand and started massaging the sensitive spot on the bottom of the head of my penis. I was feeling really good, masturbating like that, thirsty, exploring the idea of openly displaying myself or sucking cock.
I began moaning and I knew it was my time to let my orgasm out. To let go, and I did, releasing in a pulsatng cascade of existence. My energy surged perfectly, I released my voice and allowed my whole body to heave rhythmically in a way that brings my semen up from a deep and secret place and felt a very large ejaculation fill my left palm. Oh it was so good to let go after all that teasing and queer fantasy and I was cumming naked in the dark!
…half expecting the door to open, for someone to walk in and turn on the lights and find me there, sitting with my knees up and my hand cupped.
My palm was full and I said out loud okay now it’s time to take that into your mouth, do it, go for it, right now, and I sucked my semen in generously and licked my hand and my mouth was full. I sat there in the spacious naked beauty and the self-embrace of that, and expanded into the silence and the darkness. Eventually I got up and wrapped the towel around me and walked out unnoticed — and went directly into the Roman Bath again, this time with my mouth full of my cum, and soaked in the water.
Eventually I got up and wrapped up and walked to the locker area, my mouth still full. That is where I swallowed, a moment before speaking to one of the men who worked there amazing and hot and expanded and loving. Walking out, two gorgeous girls at the check-in counter noticed me — they tracked me with their eyes as I walked past them — I must have been glowing and vibrating — I could tell from the acknowledgement in their eyes —
— the dark blonde woman whom I had noticed several times and who had this detail of how she wore her hair that was unbearably delightful…this way it was parted and spun into a spiral on top made her otherworldly sexually attractive.
I walked past both girls with my mouth still sticky and thought walking out omg I was just orgasming a moment ago and they looked into my eyes and face with a delicate gleam of recognition.
lov,
e
