This Particular Mirror
is who you are
The gestalt here is that I’ve spent the weekend photographing this lovely couple fuck. They did everything everywhere — including in a basement entranceway to an old Vaudeville house — they are both actors — and then finally on Sunday afternoon he took her missionary and utterly released himself. I mean the expression on their faces at the mutual satisfaction of his orgasm so good. I was inches away from this.
When he unmounted her, she asked if I would fuck her. She wanted me to fuck her and I know her boyfriend wanted to watch. She guided me into her beautiful cum soaked twat and…I could not. I wanted to…she was so lovely and her husbanded would be witnessing us…watching me fuck his cum in her…and…I was not there, I could not. I was not squeamish — fucking her pussy full of his semen would in itself be a perfect delight.
She was sweet about being declined. She knew I needed to masturbate lewdly before both of them. Filled up on their fucking, I wanted to show them mine. I handed her the mirror. Her boyfriend was not interested and tucked himself away behind her…thereby giving us the sensation of some privacy…tho…when I masturbate with or for an m/f couple, I always want the man’s attention. Instead, I was to be ignored by him with attention lavished by She…held my mirror…
Some of my very best and deepest sex is mirror masturbating with a couple present…to their fucking and before them…and it’s always true in that deepest spot I want he who has fucked her to see and witness me and this time…no…
…she held my mirror steady as I licked crust for as long as I could
…tasted endless old climax melange with yesterday
…spit on my dry cum to moisten it, as she gently touched my head
…before I had to give it up…myself up…he is listening to me saying thanks for helping me do this…she responded sweetly, of course…and then I had the fleeting thought you can fuck her, oh, it’s too late
I want to so bad and then let go…to the feeling mirror celibate
she is right there, I have chosen not to fuck her
…and I gushed…no control…and grunted vocally as I so love to…ounces…and then lick myself first delicately sniffing smelling and tasting as she held my mirror and my soul. When I finished with myself, I showed her my full mouth, this draws out eternum
…he is still hiding behind her hearing every bit of this…I wanted to yes mmm hmmm wanted him to see this one very thing and I swallow…
When I am with a couple, i want their toto fulfillment
And I want them to see me mirror myself to oblivion
Grunt like a child i need him to see me, feel me, feel myself…
she supports me in this, o she does
knowing i must express my homosexuality to him by exposing my thirst and then my full mouth to him…
Here is a draft diary entry...recounting something two days earlier...
There are times I wonder how this happened. I might wonder if it had happened, though I have pictures to remind me that I was there and that it happened to me. These extended and grounded my memories -- a cinemascape of nakedness, reflections and facial expressions. These in turn mixed with a story of the three of us gradually dropping our layers, our masks, our independence.
A couple approached me, via the female partner, and asked whether I was interested in having them visit.
They arrived on a Friday. They were the "in love" types -- inseparable and usually insufferable, but these two had something they wanted or maybe needed to do, with and for their coupledom.
I don't know how soon we had our clothes off. They had to fuck. I had to get naked when they did. He fucked her something special, on the plush floor of Blue Studio. Throwing open their emotions before me, they fucked like they needed to be seen doing it.
He slipped his big cock into her and played her from the inside. She in turn pulled up her knees, moaned and allowed her face to burst into expressions of receiving.
She never grew sated and he pumped her deeper into that. I breathed in the vision of what I'd so long been craving -- in the presence of their fucking, I was within sight of a mirror. This I was, they knew it because they looked at me there, and at themselves and one another. Something unusual, a feeling or a shift of the light, occurred the moment we all made eye contact with one another, through our reflections. That space opened and it didn't close. We understood then that we could be more honest with one another.
They were more comfortable with their reflections than I felt. So easygoing, they felt to one another…I felt my slight tension of ease, then I grabbed my eyes with my gaze, determined to show myself facing myself.
He fucked his cock into her as I slowly flooded with heat and relief. My cock sprung out from my body though I didn't touch myself; my palms were pressed into the futon and I gazed at them and ten myself, slackjawed and breathing deeply. The sequence of events from then happened swiftly and in suspended movement - both.
She plunged into a new orgasmic depth that seemed to draw him with her, and he let go. I could see his balls and the base of his cock in her and he moaned in time with the throbs of his body. She received him. Then with his cock still spurting slightly he withdrew from her, revealing her vulva flooded with semen that was spilling out from her. I saw one cord of fresh milk spurt out of him and onto the bedding. Then I was confronted with the sight of her flooded cunt and from there gazed as she looked toward and then at me with her brown eyes expanded and her face free. Knees apart revealing this delightful spill and her eyes meeting mine.
I knew I needed to orgasm. I knew I was free to do so. I picked up a spattered mirror and held the glass toward them, so they could see what I had in my hands.
"Is that your semen?" he asked, just as I reached my tongue to the glass and licked a tan and yellowing crust, sucked off my tongue and with a mouth wet from saliva, leaned in and licked again.
"Mm hmm," I said, tasting myself as animal salt, and I swallowed to make the sounds.
I felt something distinctly loving, which is I understood I was about to receive what I want. She lay there with her knees apart and her matted cunt dripping and soaked with her vulva water and full of his semen. Her hole, her crack, and the successive layers of lips that made up her full genitalia. Glancing at this I licked my own dried semen off thicker, moaning a little more than I might otherwise, that is, if alone.
Suddenly I was thirsty and she was water. This is something I'd never done - lick another man's semen from the vagina of his lover. I could now if I wanted, and she could see the thirst on my face. He looked at me calmly, bemused, his prick starting to firm up again. I sucked off my tongue once more, and licked myself again; I placed the mirror on the floor and spread myself open and licked realizing I was not looking, then opening my eyes.
I knew what I eventually wanted. That's why I could choose it; choose myself and my thirst for their elixir turned hot in my throat, and dry, and that was thirst. I am thirsting for them and I'm going to get myself.
At that my orgasm burst out of me. The first spurt of my semen splashed onto a mirror I had picked up, and then I was taken by a second, deeper pulse of orgasm as I looked at them in disbelief. He lay reclined not far from the mirror, and this utterly free release of my emotions and my semen splashed in one hot gush all over his face.
He was not expecting this and he had no interest whatever in its occurrence. He was on his feet and running into the bathroom so fast I was stunned a second time in a short moment. Then we laughed spontaneously and tried to silence ourselves but…he had to have heard.
So this is recent? I think this is the first time I have heard you mention your homosexuality in your writing in this way. Also sense an evolution in your journey.