Thresholders

guided mirror experiences...

Green Spa became an extension of Book of Blue, for many years…I was able to explore many modes of being witnessed and accompanied. For all of us the feeling was that the experiences were necessary and I was encouraged to sink into a space of being fully held and witnessed in my self acceptance.

In one experience three women, fully dressed, witnessed as I sat in front of a full length floor mirror and made love to myself openly and vocally...the third of them entered the room just as I was about to let go...I could see them in the mirror behind me though brought my attention to myself and openly licked a cum mirror and then orgasmed onto it...watching my face...in this space of total witness...and filled my mouth from the mirror...hung out my tongue...such a bath of female beauty embracing me as I swam deep into eric-eryca...

In other experiences, depending on the thresholder, I was supported and encouraged to make love deeply and let go, and the moment my semen was on the mirror she took her attention elsewhere...in one session she seemed repelled and held the space of my own libido drop for me as she walked away and left me with my fresh cum on my mirror.

The thought of a ritual where the women leave me alone with myself to finally let go into myself has occurred to me many times. Within this utterly gorgeous space I understand that my ultimate gift to myself is to let go alone, so there can be no pretense, no showing anyone else, only me witnessing me...such a precipice of self-honesty. in one version of our scenario we might sit outside the door to allow the other to orgasm more fully and honestly.

In other blue spa sessions I was encouraged to fully make love and to show her so I could see myself, and show me encouraged by her seeing, knowing, feeling and healing...we go into these sessions knowing the idea is, one way or another, really, the most beautiful way, to get my semen into my mouth.

These sessions were facilitated by candi, who would generally not be present, tough she would sometimes come in when I was down deep into my exploration and check in...and I was able to look at her beautiful face and thank her for creating a space where I was invited to be there and explore openly...I could and did bring myself to say to her directly, thank you for creating a space where I can thirst and drink my semen.

she acknowledged my gratitude and a few moments later would lave me with my chosen thresholder to resume and complete my journey. having said these words < thank you for creating a space where I can thirst and drink my semen > is the feeling of truly living...

the women would discuss my practice when I was not there, as candi would explain to them how I would explore...and they were always ready and what I loved most, so happy to see me.

there was a much self fucking and assisted self fucking in those little rooms...and deep assisted exploration with clitstick...a kind of ultimate naked…

then in more recent sessions with a very advanced thresholder named shishi, I would strip, embrace and thank her...and smell her neck and hair...and she would hold the mirror to my face as I explored and played with my clit stick. and the last several times the session would go - sooner each time - to me sitting on the massage table, ass self fucked and knees apart...and I am looking at the neck and torso and hands of a swimmingly beautiful asian woman as she held the gold mirror to my face, concealing her face behind it...so it would look like my face was supported by her body...and I would talk to myself and dive into self-gifting and she held a zen like stature.

in those sessions...my orgasm would be a visually private affair though my voice filled the room and carried outside the room...and all of 'other' became myself in female form as she very patiently held space where I worked out releasing to myself,,,licked dry cum of course, because I could...and then spilling fresh and lickig it again...in a sense all alone, in a sense knowing I utterly was not so...yet this strong, focused mother-presence facilitating my way into my solitary self love.

at its essence the role of the thresholder is to hold the space of selflove until it's no longer necessary to do so, as the deepest or perhaps among the deepest masturbation is alone with my truth. we all do masturbate alone, mme J, and i hold the space of the beauty of that for everyone..to whomever may be reading, I know and love that you masturbate alone, I so love that you give yourself that. you may cry out and for a moment imagine that I can hear you, if that would feel good. i know what you do, I know what you give to yourself that only you can give...

should it feel good, you who are reading have my adoring understanding respectful affirmation of your self love making...of your masturbation...including into your mirror. do it, and then at different other times, remember yourself this way...i love to know that we are all at our most natural masturbating into a mirror...known as such to everyone in my life...you may imagine this for yourself.

I am smelling the accumulated mix of many old spurted moans of joy in my seashell...its endless layers...and thick candy...

ef