…that whatever I may crave or think I want or need, or beg for, etc., that it is possible that I will never fuck or lick out or even smell a woman again.
anyone reading bOb might think…um yeah…this seems to be a deep and total commitment…you don’t know this?
it is still terrifying…woman is…universe…
&as you ceres remind me “you are a mirror celibate, self semen drinker”
openly so...if everyone knows, then this is who I am
&she wrote, I came back to this conversation to say, “you are a mirror celibate, self semen drinker”
(if you say this to me i will relax right then.) you…anyone…may randomly remind me…
i understand i’ve said and felt many times this is what I want, beyond the point of ‘feeling it out’ or living in a parallel world or exploring the boundaries of a relationship…that I have sunk deep under the surface of potential truth and breathed in water and am alive. i have cried out to myself in utter gratitude for my selfgift
going insane to smell cunt and slurp up mouthfulls of all of your delicate nourishing slime &you see my face orgasm into you as i study my reflection in your eyes…
&nd that finally, i do what i can, once I get my clothes off and stand and face myself and see my eyes for as long as I can and get all my yaya begging & confession out of the way
and let go deeply and get my semen into my mouth
i may relax utterly &rest within myself
what i am alluding to as previously too embarrassing to be explicit about...is my thirst drama with cunt...and having created understandings with women to deny myself...and the ultimate joy being giving into my choice. I also want to say more about how the cum mirror transformed into self yoni with the help of women spreading their legs into my spattered mess...and slowly i converted cunnilingus to cum mirrors. however obviously i am still seeming to be desperate for cunt. this is what I haven't really written about...
Per your comment ".if everyone knows, then this is who I am" You are who you are even if everyone knows or does not know. You be you.